I messed up the blog somehow. Not all of the words appear where they should. And all the links on the side appear to be gone... Maybe it's just my computer. But if it's not, I still don't really have the energy to fix it.

Lynnea and I went to a bridal shower tonight. It was really good in the sense that I am so excited for the actual wedding and I am also excited for the couple to get married because I've known them for a long time and I think they will have a great time together. I felt like hanging out with the bride tonight, listening to her talk, and knowing how perfect they are for each other really redeems my poor view of marriage and the negative ideas I've had towards it lately. I'm really glad for Christina and Scott, and I know they will be very happy together.

Unfortunately, in all honesty, it makes me sad to see them and then think about my own life..... I'll try to refrain from the pity party... I guess all I have to say is that I know I could be very happy right now and I have been very happy, but I've made decisions that just leave me confused and praying about what/who will be in my future. I really wish I didn't make things turn out the way they have, but I'm hoping and praying that this really will become the best thing for this period of time... and who knows what could happen down the road. I know I'm vague, but even on my own blog I feel like I don't have a lot to say about personal matters. Anyone who's up to date on my life might understand, but if they do, then I might need them to convince me again of why this is a good thing and remind me to trust that God has a plan. I just hope this is all really part of it.

Sometimes all I have to say is.... why?