it's not easy being poor

So, I really want a cute new purse. I'm glad no one else knows the address to this blogger or they would probably be disappointed in me. Bryan and Lynnea write about literature and the world, but I've just been thinking about a new purse and I thought that was worth writing. If I mentioned this idea to anyone, though, I would be in trouble because my tuition bill came today and I have no idea how I'm going to pay it by Feb. 1st. It lies on my bed, in a pile of discarded mail, and I'm trying to forget that I have to come up with thousands of dollars in 2 weeks. I get paid on Friday... but a good paycheck to me would be like $400.

I can't wait until summer. I can't decide what to do with myself. I am thinking of applying to youthworks, but it really bothers me that I wouldn't be able to chose where I went for the summer. There are tons of places I would love, but I don't think I'd have any say in it. Maybe I'll just work on the application in the next few days before school starts since I have time and then decide. I need to come up with 3 references, too. It's like applying to college, but more work.

I am a little excited to go back to school next week. This break has been unbelievably long to me and I'm tired of sitting around the house thinking about the things I should be doing and then just watching a movie or something. I actually want to go back to RF and see what my new classes are going to be like. Sadly, that's like the only think I'm looking forward to about school... I wish that I had really close friends that I was looking forward to seeing when I go back but I didn't really make too much of an effort to meet anyone outside of my classes last semester. One of the only people that I really felt that I got along well with is taking the semester off; she's pulling a me. It's so weird to put myself in this position... At the schools that I've left, I actually felt like I had close relationships with people and professors and I miss them and keep in touch with them. I want to visit BC so badly and I see people from Crown all the time. But thinking about the school I actually go to... there isn't much more than class that excites me. At least I have that much.

This is exactly why I crave going away so much this summer. I've always had school and camp and the community of people there to count on and hang out with, but this year I've been deprived of good fellowship and I can't stand the thought of living in RF and continuing to work my meaningless job all summer just because I would make the most money. I think it would be worth taking out a few school loans to go someplace new and make new friends and NOT serve coffee everyday to wretched rich people... I need to figure this out soon. And I really want a new purse. It's not easy being poor... luckily Mom said she would buy me groceries when I go back to my apartment. That makes me happy.