coffeeshop talk

I should be writing a paper right now, but I need to unwind a bit before I try to produce something that I'm actually going to turn in. I've had way too much coffee today, because I don't normally have any but for some reason I kept downing iced almond white mochas that I didn't even like that much. One thing that I actually enjoy about working at a fairly busy coffeeshop is getting to know the regulars. I saw several people today that I chatted with for a few minutes, and for me that is the only thing that makes the shift tolerable. I really like seeing a lot of the people that come in every day and hear about what is going on in their lives and ask them for advice on mine. Tonight after my shift it was still light outside, so I sat out in the grass with a customer named Eric who claims himself as my mentor. He always tells me what he thinks I should do with my life and I always laugh at his suggestions (even though he's serious). I informed him about my job rejection and he encouraged me by saying that there is something totally better in store for me. He had a way of saying it that was pretty convincing (even though it was still along the lines of "God has better plans for you"), but just thinking about it still leaves me in wonder about what wasn't good enough for them.

I had a voicemail from my mom when I was leaving work and when I talked to her she said that one of my references had called the director of the company and tried to figure out why I didn't get the job. He couldn't figure it out, either. Mom says I should keep calling them if I really do want this job, but at this point, I don't know if I would want it if they offered it. She thinks that maybe there was another person with my name who applied and that I really am being confused with this person. How likely is that? If it turns out that this whole situation IS a mistake (which also isn't very likely), then the way I see it is that that is just another reason for me to lose respect for them.

I just wish that I could figure out what I'm doing soon and know that I have a plan so that come mid-May I won't be spending as much time at Starbucks. Eric says that I need to stop looking and just wait for the better opportunity to find me. Maybe my whole problem is a lack of trusting that everything will work out, but I find it hard to feel secure knowing that if NOTHING comes my way, I'm going to be making Frappuccinos all summer. Yuck.

Eric also thinks I should work at a nudist Quaker camp in rural Vermont. I don't think he knows me very well.