Lynnea and Bryan always made fun of me in high school by saying that all of the boys in the youth group liked me. I don't really think this is true, even though I did like one or two of them at different times during my high school career, so I might have believed them at the time to boost my self-esteem. But for some reason I have many memories of them harassing me about the youth group boys, and Bryan (I think) even bought me a shirt that said "BOY MAGNET." In high school I didn't really date much, and I met Tyler after my sophomore year, so I haven't really dated anyone else since then. And thinking about the last five years in my life, I haven't really experienced much rejection from boys, schools, or jobs.
Two weeks ago I was informed that I had been rejected from a job that I felt like I couldn't be more qualified for. I applied for this summer job and filling out the application was like writing a book - more work than all my college applications combined - and I had three written, glowing references and 2 hour-long interviews. I thought everything was going great. They said they enjoyed reading my application and talking with me during the interviews, and then the very next day after the second interview, I got a letter in the mail saying that my "current experience and skills" do not meet the needs of their staff. I was completely floored because everyone who's known me well since high school said I was perfect for this job and essentially, I have wanted to apply with this organization since I was 15. I was so devasted and confused when the letter came that I thought it had to be a mistake. I emailed the person I had the interviews with, and she wrote back saying that it's true, my experiences are not what they're looking for.
I was so disappointed about this all last week and now I have to figure out what I'm going to do with my summer instead. I know that this is just one job and that I'll probably be rejected from several more as time goes by and I try to get "real" jobs, but I have really never experienced rejection like this. I'm confused about it for so many reasons: I felt like I totally had the right experience they were looking for, I really feel that I could have done well in leadership positions, the job fits what I want to do with my life so well. The hard part about this situation for me is that for so long I've wanted this job, for so long I've felt like this job was basically created for me and perfect for my desires and passions, and after assuming for five years that this is a job that someday I would have, I found out that I'm not what they're looking for. Tyler said not to take this personally, but I don't know how that's possible after I poured my heart out to these people in the application and interviews and that's purely the reason that I didn't get the job. It's been a couple weeks since I found out, but writing about it just makes me so confused again, and honestly, a little hurt.
Another thing that bothers me is that after my second interview, they told me they would think about this for a couple of weeks and get back to me then. The rejection letter arrived at my house the NEXT DAY. There was absolutely no time for them to think anything over. They had to have hung up the phone, said, "This girl sucks," signed the letter and dropped it in the mail. (This is partly why I thought it must be a mistake - the letter came way too soon.) Even though I'm getting over the fact that I was rejected, the whole process just makes me so disappointed in the organization and I want to write them a letter or something telling them how poorly I think the situation was handled. Could I have been given any specific reason as to why my "skills and qualifications" aren't what they're looking for? What more do I need to do to be eligible for this job?
Now I'm just getting frustrated. The point is, I have experienced little rejection in my life, so I don't really know how to move on after this. It's especially hard since everyone I talked to said they thought I was perfect for this job and had no doubt in their mind that I would get it. Now I feel like I'm not qualified for anything, and it rules out one of the possibilities of jobs that I was considering even after I graduate. I'm trying to figure out what to do with my summer and am applying for a few different jobs, but I just don't know what I'm supposed to do and it's getting pretty late to decide. A good thing is that my landlord found subleasers for our apt. for the summer, but that means that I either have to live at home or quickly figure something else out. I'm lost.
3 comments:
No one knows rejection like a beginning writer. Trust me, persistence pays off.
I know (not to be mean here) that you of all people know how to deal with rejection, and it shows that persistence paid off for you. But does that mean that I should keep calling them until they give me a more acceptable answer about not getting hired?
It seems like everyone I talk to has told me to move on and that "God must have something even better in store for me" (which is an appreciated response, but that is what is expected of Christians to say, right?). So far nothing better has come my way. Are you saying I should be persistent and apply again next year? I don't know if I could bring myself to do that.
Ok, you probably won't even read this again so it's like I'm just posting another mini blog about my situation but I am the only one who will read it. That's probably how it is on the regular page, anyway.
I'm not saying you should continue to apply to the same company. If that is your number one desire, then go ahead and bug them about this summer - or reapply next year (although I don't know what will be different next year).
It's true that when our preferred course of action isn't an option that something even better can come along, although I'm not saying it necessarily will. Take a look around - it's a big world; there's a lot you can do in it.
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